I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Everclear isn't food dammit
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
