I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
