areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
