have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
