uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
