Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
