We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
