At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Randomize
