i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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