sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
