porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
