He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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