i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
