O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
