woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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