My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
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