my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
