Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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