I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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