I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize