So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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