pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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