Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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