i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
