I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
