you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
