Hey man sorry I got all grabby
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
