Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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