just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
