I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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