Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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