everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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