Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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