i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Oh god it's open bar.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
