On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
