WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
