Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
