I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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