Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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