he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
