I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Ketchup is God's man juice
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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