like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
How does it feel to date your dad?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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