Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
