Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
