Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
