I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
