I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
