You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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