i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
