garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
